What is a day

Today is Father's Day.  And though I want to thankful and happy, the fact is that there are so many dead beat dads out there who really truly don't understand or care to understand what being a father is all about. Wait, then they want to get upset and vicious when another man steps in and takes on the role and does the job and better.  I, on the other do not give my blessing to those who stepped in and harmed the children that are not of his own or of his own.  How can I?  How can we? 

I am a single mother.  Was it by choice?  See the man I fell in love with, the man I wanted to spend my life with back in 1992, decided when I was two months pregnant 1993, that whether or not I chose to continue with the pregnancy, he would not be with me.  I was left with a decision that I was not ready for.  How many appointments did I make to terminate and it was the last appointment, when upon laying table and the doctor sprayed my inner thighs and vaginal area with an antiseptic liquid that my entire body lifted 2 inches off the table.  I loudly said stop, I can't go through this.  That day,. I walked out of the office pregnant and alone with my love.  He broke my heart and left us. 

Here I am 20 yrs later after the breakup, strong, independent, and wondering what it's like to be in a loving family.  Far too late to wonder.  I only ask, rather inform my suitors that if you wish to step me ~ What do you bring to the table of which I have managed to maintain by myself.  No, I do not wish for you to rewrite the past, but I do ask that you understand the meaning self sufficiency, responsibility and that although money is the root to all evil, without it we cannot survive.